When ‘YOU’ Are The Other Woman!

 

Why do women like men that are taken? Even if you did not mean for this to happen, it’s all very real! Let me start and finish by making a very clear point; Not every woman that is the other woman wanted to be the ‘THAT WOMAN”.  How can this be, you may ask?  Well for starters, this particular woman never had intentions of getting herself into a situation like this, and yes, these types of “Other Women” are in the minority, the slimy ones are in full effect. Women like things that are off limits, so to speak, it’s sort of thrilling to the female ego. The thoughts of sexing this man and giving him what his wife does not or no longer does not fascinates you, but just know that this does not apply to all women, unfortunately most though.

The Other Woman also realizes that she has the “GREEN LIGHT” to do what the hell she wants, when she wants and with whom she wants ~ this is an empowering feeling that dominates an already inflated ego!  Here is the THE BIGGEST OF ALL! The Other Woman hears GOOD things about TAKEN men!  After being misused, abused, trusting, cheated on, lied to and scorned by trying to date single men, she will TAP-OUT because she’s sick of it! You now have a new job to brag to all your girlfriends about!  What’s your title?  You’re now the new “PR Rep” for your TAKEN man!  Hint: Not all women need to do this, chances are she will keep this hidden in fear of her reputation.  Now the significant other, (being the man) is a reflection of the woman he chooses to date, not the one he may have a one night stand with, hell he couldn’t care less about her.

Keep in mind that this truly is a relationship, but it’s one that has designated expiration date, because he is not going to leave his wife.  Yes, I know it’s happened before, but statistics show it’s a rarity within black families. When The Other Woman boasts, her listeners see him through the rose-colored glasses that she wears. By the time she gets to the part about his volunteer firefighting, (whew, this brother is bad) it’s obvious that he’s a major stud and consequently, you’re his female equivalent. Please don’t tell how amazing the sex is and if it’s about this long and about that thick! Unfortunately, all your girls are now in agreement, but be careful, your Judas is always in that circle, she wants to steal your title away, so you need to realize some of those girlfriends are imagining something DEEP-THROAT’ish!

Colorful, glistening with many shades of grey; these are the infancy stages of stories that women proclaim how being The Other Woman was birthed.  Is any of this innocent?  Does any of it end with him leaving his wife and family for you? HELL NO!!! So please get your gullible self up and stop imagining how you plan to fit into his family. Who holds you accountable? After all YOU allowed him into your stuff, and he took it like a thief in the night.  He dug deep, very deep into you, whispering fairy tales that you always dreamed of.  When you look in the mirror, your face illuminates like a bronzed first place winner, no, not because of the outer beauty, never that ~ it’s bronzed because of all the Maybelline, MAC, and concealer that hides the broken lines in your face from worry, unforgiveness and harboring years of darkness, secrets and pain. There’s even dark circles that encompass your eyes, and a front lace wig that has taken all your hairline out.  Still you RISE though, women are the best at this!

You made a permanent decision based off your temporary emotions to allow him to become a part of your life.  His conversations fascinate you, he actually laughs at your jokes, he looks into your eyes and your soul, he tells you what you mean to him, and the sex, well, it was more than you could imagine.  You have questions that need validation before you allow him between your legs, they’re wet from your yearning of his handle, hell this is natural.  Amazingly, you muster up enough courage to ask him, “why me”?  You wander what his wife looks like too, how often they bone, and does she look better than you. Truth is you know he’s bored to tears sexually and deprived in so many areas, but you need to hear this from him. Will you rejoice in his misery? Well, no, because you care for this man, and want his happiness.

You’re constantly burdened with over thinking things, and needing completion. In your mind, you’re thinking this may run him away, and the vacancy that was once open is now fulfilled with at least something and someone.  He dawns on the reply, of your asking, why me. Turning you to his face, he says, “I love my wife, I’m vested, but we have lost our connection, the sex is rationed, and even then, it’s not fulfilling, it began with our finances, then both of our assumptions that one or the other were cheating. Honest, I wasn’t at that time, I felt she was.  We hadn’t had sex for months. I started masturbating in the shower, then to porn.; this wasn’t enough for me. I can’t even talk to her, I mean all we do is fight.  So, I made a decision to let it go, I never contemplated divorce.  I was minding my own business, and then I met you, now here we are.”  Does any of this sound familiar?

Your eyes are marveled at his courage to debrief you about his “WHY” and his “WIFE”.  Know that men will only tell you the surface, if that much.  While we will use any opportunity to discuss our hurt with a new lover, to us, it’s therapy and we want all the cards on the table.  He is listening, and reeling you in at the same time.  Whatever pieces you say are missing, he will become that piece, but remember it’s only temporary, know that the pain is REAL.  So why did you decide to become “The Other Woman”?  Well for starters, you became emotionally involved – he was a beacon of light in your dark tunnel, this is the first destination he visited, and you allowed it. Secondly, for women It’s Never Just About the Sex…we THINK we have a new confidant, friend, lover, etc…all the while, he is in for the SEX and will tell you anything, even I love you to keep you on your back and knees, (you get the point)!  The media portrays men as slaves to their libido, but most affairs are born out of a man’s desire for physical sensation, ours is birthed from needing emotional intimacy.

Here’s more of, “why me”? Well you allowed him to keep his integrity as a man, while being ‘soft’ while he’s with you.  While you may be used to saying whatever comes to mind with your best girl friend, men may feel more vulnerable sharing deeply personal thoughts and feelings with his illegitimate partner, they secretly call it,  positive “camaraderie.” A masculine variation of intimacy, while showing a little femininity, and no he is not gay!  Camaraderie assures a man that his masculinity will not be compromised if he is emotional. If you sense your lover wants to open up but fears he may be judged for having these types of feelings, try imitating being masculine yourself.  This stuff works, it’s called role playing! Also, the other chief component for MEN is he calls all the shots in this game, and yes it’s a game…he knows he has the upper hand on when you can be together, your Absence Does NOT Make HIS Heart Grow Fonder.  How unfortunate for you, his absence does!

 

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